Alcoholics or drug addicts have a relationship with mind transforming chemicals. These become more important than anything else, including friends, family, job, etc. The person with a sexual addiction will experience basically the same relationships. Mind-altering experiences become central to their way of life. They go through stages where the secret life becomes more real and appealing than their public one.

In this sense, addicts distort reality, causing the sexual addiction to become a form of derangement. This in no way means that they are insane. They only have a tendency to do things that could justify that condition. The fact is that they come from all walks of life and may even be looked up to in their community as a pillar of decency and morality.

The figure for charges of sexual abuse in the United States alone is overwhelming. (Well into the tens of thousands annually) There are however, multitudes more that are never charged with a criminal act. There are also many of you who know that you have a problem with a sexual aggressiveness, whether charged or not, and you have determined in your heart that you want to be free. Remember, freedom has many meanings. There may be those, still out in society, but bound never the less by a sexually deviant behavior that is ripping them apart inside. They may on the other hand, be incarcerated for the next twenty-five years for a sexual crime, but free because of following the principles outlined in this material.

The goal of this program are to bring you into a right relationship with God, thereby bringing you into proper association with yourself.

It will show the necessity for trust and confidentiality. Most importantly, it will show the need to vocalize feelings and emotions necessary for healing and recovery. If working alone, ask someone who can be trusted, to be a sounding board for emotions and feelings while working through this material.

Many people who have failed or not done well in a treatment program have most probably been deluding themselves about their experiences in order to make themselves look better. It is imperative that you are truthful in working on this or any other program. Remember, it is your life and you must decide, if you are ready to be honest with yourselves and others, no matter what it may cost.

This program involves a considerable amount of subject material on recovery as well as a completion of study assignments. If done purposely, you will find that this information will awaken your senses to the nature of the crime(s) you have committed. It will also stimulate empathy for your victims. It will allow you to see the problem that they may be facing because of your addictive actions toward them. At the same time the scripture passages will arouse in you a constant need of God's help and guidance in order to gain and maintain to a life of freedom.

The primary focus of the assignments is to collectively show thoughts, feelings and behaviors leading to the offense(s) that have taken away your freedom and relationships with family and friends..

If doing this with members of a group, I encourage you to share and "speak from the heart," rather than "giving discourses from the mind". If working this program individually, it is advisable to find someone who can be trusted to share answers with and also to confront you when needed.

Personal growth and self-awareness, for healthy change demands time, honesty and very often the pain of remembering and forgiving yourselves and others. Much emphasis will be placed on these factors.

Bible study will be associated with other material and will explain God's point of view about each area covered. It will be beneficial to read each passage of scripture, in order to become enlightened as to how God feels about your deviancy and your recovery.

The Old Testament laws in the book of Leviticus show that the penalty for sexual sin was very demanding and very final. As you read through the material you will also find, even in the Old Testament, that God preferred to see a repentant backslider than to mete out punishment. (Read Isaiah 1:18-20).

New Testament passages will also show sin in all its filthiness, but will repeatedly show that the penalty has been paid and a way to freedom has already been provided. These will both be covered in more detail throughout the program.

There are numerous reasons that sexual offenders enter a treatment program. Some only attend because their court ruling requires it. Some attend out of curiosity. Many however, will attend because they truly want to learn what has caused them to commit their crime(s). They also want to find freedom from the sin that so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles them. (Hebrews 12:1)

If answers to your questions do not seem to come quickly, you should not be disheartened. The big question -- "What is my real reason for attending treatment?" - is answered by a series of inquires you begin to ask yourself as you proceed though the study.

If you are motivated by the determination to be free of besetting deviant behaviors, you are then working this program and reading the Bible to benefit yourself and others alike. Your plan of attack must center on long and short-term goals for improvement. You need tools and methods however, when used properly, will help you arrive at those goals. It will bring the joy of seeing the light of recovery at the end of the long dark tunnel of your deviancy.(sin)

There will be written assignments throughout the program, which are designed to help you see yourself as God sees you, showing both the dirt and the precious stone. There is a diamond in each of you, but it will take a lot of chipping away and polishing the outer surface in order for you to see the gem that God sees in you.

Everyone is different, so you need not feel demoralized if your progress is not the same as others. It is best not to compare yourself to others; doing so may cause you to see your actions as failures in contrast.

No agenda, like that undertaken here, will be easy but, if given the proper time and perspective, will prove very rewarding. It will give each of you knowledge about yourself and show that recovery is possible when you take the proper stance and attend for the best reasoning possible. Those reasons are knowing and doing the will of God in our lives, thereby not having any more victims.

Sexual addicts generally do not perceive themselves as worthwhile nor do they believe other people would care for them or meet their needs if everything was known about them, including their addiction. They will use many devices, trying to convince themselves and others that there is nothing wrong. They, too often, believe in defense justification. The result is denial that a specific incident or behavior could possibly be a part of your total pattern of demeanor, whatever the interpretation. It further cuts you off from the reality of the trauma you have caused in the lives of your victims. As you proceed through this program you will experience certain stages of behavior because you are clearly working through a process that leads from denial to recovery.

.........................Denial
.........................Compliance...................................... Each of these factors is
.........................Intellectual acceptance..................necessarily a part of the
.........................Emotional acceptance...................recovery program of the addict

..................................................................................fig #1

If you are truly honest with yourself, while studying this material, you will not blame others for your deviant behavior on previous abuse. These behaviors could include drinking, drugs or anything else that could ease the area of responsibility away from yourself. Blaming others erects barriers instead of intimacy, because it indicates distrust. It lowers your self-worth and also builds defense systems that are hard to get through. You begin to deny responsibilities, both personal and social. All of the above tends to intensify the addictive system and cloak you in your own little envelope of deception.

These forms of denial need to be dealt with in a straightforward manner. As you begin to recognize specific areas of denial you will then begin to comply with the dictates of your rehabilitative requirements. You may accept the intellectual aspects of what is being covered, but until you are willing to become emotionally involved with the work and accept the responsibility for your actions, you will remain chained up in a prison of denial. This is far worse than one of bars and steel doors.

One of the main problems that sex offenders have is that of control. You feel a need to be able to assert control over every situation in your life in order to keep from being hurt yourself. When you lose that control, you also lose self-confidence and self worth. In your perverted thinking you assume that to be respected, you must be in full control of every circumstance. Because of extreme insecurity, you may feel that a lack of control is not acceptable. When you do lose control, you start telling yourself that you are no good. Proverbs 6:2 says; "Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth..."

As you learn to humble yourself before God, He will in due time exalt you. He can bring you back to the point of self-respect, thereby regaining the respect of others. You can only do this by placing the cares of needing to be in control on the Lord's shoulders, because you are told that He cares for you.

What should my reaction to God be as I strive to seek His guidance?
Psalm 25:8-10